Today is 2 years since I took Pippa to the doctor and discovered a lump in her brainstem. Today is confusing. I don’t know whether it’s a day I recognise anymore or not. In reality, it’s old news I guess. Today’s date has been surpassed now by another date.
Still though it sits with me as a day I will never forget in my life. A day were my anxiety levels were high before seeing a doctor. Call it mother’s instinct. I knew I was not going to get good news. I’d been in tears three times on the phone trying to book scans before even seeing the GP. I had stood at the counter in the doctors’ clinic in tears trying to make an earlier appointment. Does she have a fever? No. Is she vomiting? No. Does she have any pain? No. A cough? No. Well, what is actually wrong with her? I don’t know. I did know. I knew that something was drastically wrong but I had no words for what it was or how I knew.
From the moment we walked into he GP’s room though we were fast tracked. Fast tracked into a whirlwind of spinning madness.
We were told to go home and get a book each ready for the long wait for a scan as Pippa was being squashed in at the end of the day. We didn’t even open our books, nor did we even have a seat in the waiting room. Pippa was straight in and onto the machine for her first of many MRIs. There was no wait. I was told to leave and go for a walk. I rang a friend in Melbourne to ensure her scans got read quickly. Little did I know they were being read live in Melbourne as I was talking.
And then the whirlwind really started. It picked it up and spun us around and around and around with dizzying consequences rushing us to Melbourne in the middle of an horrendously foggy night. A drive that took us over 4 and a half hours. It kept us awake and with doctors for the next 24 hours.
It doesn’t really matter whether I recognise this date or not. I think about it anyway. All the time. Every single day.
Pippa Rea 
Dear Rea, I admire your strength and courage and hope you find happiness with all the beautiful memories you have of your Pippa.
I don’t know you nor did I meet your beautiful girl. My 12 year old cousin played basketball against your daughter and its through her I came across your website 2 months ago.
I live in melbourne with two small children and as a mother I cannot imagine what you have been through and what you now face on a daily basis continuing on without your little girl.
I have shed so many tears reading your beautiful posts and just hope you find comfort knowing you gave your daughter a wonderful life and made the best of every moment no matter how difficult this must have been especially towards the end. You are constantly in my thoughts x
I remember the day at the footy when Pippa and I were selling raffle tickets and Mum was asking Pippa if she was feeling okay, she said she was so we kept playing and doing what we were doing ~ Playing in / climbing trees, drawing on trees with a yellow highlighter we found, building huts, buying lollies, watching the footy / netball and as always; having fun. I will never forget that day. xx
Every time I wake up in the morning I think of the day when I was playing with her at school.
I absolutely feel for your family because you have memories of everyday with her.
I know that you must be HEARTBROKEN! because that day that you took her into the doctor must just remind you of that much more pain.
Lots of Love
Emma xxxxxxxxoooooooxxxxooo